Sun
Sep
18
Horny Unicorn!
I think I know what I’m wearing for Halloween!
Speaking of fairytales…
Texas Governor Rick Perry says he has interpreted certain events through his life as signs from God. You really want a President that believes he gets “supernatural” messages from God.
I’ve been trying to write my memoirs using A. E. Van Vogt’s writing methods, but ran out of antonyms for “mind-boggling!”
Is there any trick you use to be prolific? Besides, “Reply All.”
My back is still hurting. I woke up stiff as a board. I was trying so hard to get it in gear. Hot shower. Hot rice bag. Hanging upside down on the inversion table. I hate to be this way, but having years of experience with back pain I know for a fact that the only thing that works in making it better is oral sex.
I think JL2 is on to me about this backache! She brought me breakfast in bed, then lunch, she rubbed my back, neck and feet. She fluffed up my pillows. Then I said in my strained and pitiful voice, “Sweetheart, I sure could use some hot fresh brownies and milk.” She didn’t even look at me when she said, “I’d like some to, so get your fat lazy ass in the kitchen and make some!”
I need to get back in shape. I think the shape I was in when I was 13 is pretty good. I’d like to get fit, but this way is so wrong on many levels and should be stopped at all costs.
JL2’s 13 year old daughter ESP was telling us that Dr. Oz said if anyone gets 10 strands or more when you run your fingers through their hair that they will go bald, so I asked her if she could run her fingers through my luscious mane of back hair (because I can’t reach it) to see if my back will go bald, she said, “I, I,…I just threw up in my mouth.”
I don’t get it! When I tell about the way JL2 is treating me (making me fold clothes when my back is supposed to be hurting, making me wake up at noon and shower, making me pick my own clothes up off the floor…) people just cheer her and request her to be their FB friend… MY friends! Where’s the love for me? I’m the one that needs it!!!
