Mon
Sep
26
I never wanted to have kids!
I never wanted to have kids!
They are selfish, stubborn, gross, messy, noisy, stinky… But this little baby stole my heart today! He has a cute and deep lil’ voice that sounds all gravely and coarse. I like that!
Is it fair when you have to watch the crap a 13 year old girl wants to watch, but she doesn’t have the common decency to watch the crap I want to watch? It’s NOT fair!!!
I’ll show her! I’m gonna pout all night! And maybe tomorrow, too!
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Talked with a friend about, “potential” and I said, “‘Potential’ just means you ain’t worth a shit now.” She got the saddest look on her face.
Next week starts National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) anyone know any cool things going on? Remember a couple of years ago when all those cartoonists got together and used pink ink? I thought that was pretty cool.
Got online but haven’t found any really interesting things like that going on. About 10 years ago I learned how to perform breast exams, so I might offer my services free of charge! I discovered that the tongue is really sensitive and babies use their mouths to feel shapes and learn about form, so figured the best way for me to do the breast exams is with my mouth. I know what you’re thinking… Yes, I will do it for free, because I’m selfless! Oh, and No, I will not check the prostate, or look for testicular cancer using the same technique, because I just happen to be busy on those months.
HORRIBLE!!! I bit into a plump and juicy sausage link this morning, the kind that the insides where slightly less hotter than the surface of the sun, and it squirted its scalding grease straight up into my nostril and down the back of my throat!!! I panicked, struggling to find a tissue as my sinuses boiled and blistered to riotous offstage laughter from a friend that just moments before I had believed I loved more than anything in the whole wide world.
Sad.
My day was ruined.
